About
You are the one who handles it. You make the appointments, manage the medications, answer the phone at 11pm, and smile when you walk in the door because she needs calm, not panic. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, you stopped sleeping. You stopped eating real meals. And what nobody told you was that your body was keeping score the entire time.
If you are in the sandwich generation — caring for aging parents, children, grandchildren, and everyone in between — while also navigating perimenopause or menopause, this episode was made for you. Chronic stress and declining estrogen are a brutal combination. Cortisol is supposed to be a short-lived survival tool, but when caregiving stretches across months and years, it stays elevated and begins interfering with sleep, weight, mood, memory, and immune function. Meanwhile, dropping estrogen — one of the hormones that keeps cortisol in check — is doing the opposite. These two things compound on each other in ways most women never recognize because they are too busy caring for someone else to notice what is happening to themselves.
Lori La Bey lived this for 30 years. As the founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks, recognized by Oprah as a health hero and by Maria Shriver as an architect of change, Lori built an international advocacy movement out of her mother’s 30-year journey with dementia — and out of her own decades of self-neglect along the way. In this conversation, she is candid about what caregiving quietly did to her body, the traps she fell into, and what she wishes she had known far earlier.
This is not just a dementia episode. It is an episode about what happens when women carry everything for everyone else and call it love. Lori’s message is clear: caregiving should not mean self-erasure. Every moment is another chance.
What You Will Learn
- Why the sandwich generation is a perfect storm for midlife women — how layered caregiving responsibilities compound hormonal changes, elevate cortisol for years, and quietly destroy the caregiver’s own health before she ever recognizes what is happening
- The traps caregivers fall into — trying to fix the unfixable, pursuing perfection, doing everything alone — and why shifting from a crisis mindset to a comfort-first approach preserves both the caregiver’s health and the loved one’s dignity
- Practical steps to protect yourself while continuing to care — including how to find support when you are isolated, why connection is not optional but medical, and the three questions Lori asks before every caregiving task that changed everything for her
Lori La Bey is the founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks, an international advocacy movement focused on dementia education and caregiver support. Her work is rooted in personal experience — her mother lived with dementia for 30 years, and Lori spent about 30 years as a caregiver connected to that journey. Recognized by Oprah as a health hero and by Maria Shriver as an architect of change, she is a powerful voice for caregivers and everyone affected by dementia. Drawing from her own experience of neglecting self-care, she now encourages others to care differently, prioritize progress over perfection, and reclaim their own lives.
To learn more about our guest, click here:
https://hellohotflash.com/episodes/alzheimers-speaks-lori-labey
Visit Alzheimer’s Speaks: alzheimerspeaks.com
Global resource platform: Dementia Map
Additional ResourcesThe limited-series podcast Christian Women and Menopause teaches what the Bible says about stress, anxiety, health, and confidence in midlife. Listen here:
https://hellohotflash.com/christian-women-and-menopause
SponsorThis episode is sponsored by Reverse Health. Finally, a fitness and weight loss app for women 40+. Use promo code HOTFLASH for 10% off:
https://www.rgds43jd.com/G1S938/7XDN2/
This episode is also sponsored by Delta Dental. Protecting more than smiles. Visit the Delta Dental Institute to discover how they are advancing menopause care:
https://DeltaDentalInstitute.com
Or learn more about menopause and oral health directly here:
https://www1.deltadentalins.com/wellness/menopause-oral-health.html
