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What is acceptance is the requirement for growht? What would life look like if you just stopped trying to fix yourself?
That's the question at the heart of this conversation with returning guest Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Eating Disorders Specialist who has spent nearly 20 years working with people around eating, body image, and the experience of living in a body.
We dig into why self-esteem is a shaky foundation in midlife, when opinions of ourselves rise and fall with every hormonal shift and identity change. Alli's working definition of self-acceptance cuts deeper: choosing to stay with yourself even when shame, judgment, ego, or fear try to pull you away. It's knowing yourself, plus self-compassion, plus the willingness to face reality.
The biggest misunderstanding we tackle: acceptance is not resignation. Resignation says "it is what it is, there's nothing I can do." Acceptance says "it is what it is. What's next?" One keeps you stuck. The other creates the conditions for growth.
We also do a live, unscripted experiment using my own belly and body image history, which turned into one of the most unexpectedly moving moments I've had on this podcast.
Alli also shares news about her new book, My Child Has an Eating Disorder: An Essential Guide for Parents of Kids, Teens, and Adults (Bloomsbury Academic, 2026).
Connect with Alli: Website: allispottsdelazzer.com Instagram: @allispottsdelazzer
Related episodes:
- #57 - Story Session: What this therapist wants you to know about making midlife meaningFULL with Alli Spotts-De Lazzer
- #141 - Trusting Your Body: Finding Peace Through Grief with Nina Manolson
- #92 - From Body Grief to Body Acceptance: The Way Forward with Amanda Mittman, RD
- #109 - The Body Acceptance Mistake That's Keeping You Stuck in the Suck
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📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy today and start thriving in midlife.