Middle Man

From the outside my life looked wonderful. I had an amazing wife, three great kids, a beautiful house in the countryside and a successful consultancy business. But on the inside, I was deeply unhappy. I felt trapped by the very life that I had designed. I felt that I had no sense of purpose. And I’d lost all sense of who I was or what my place in the world was. But what I’ve discovered since is that it needn’t be this way. Middle Man is the show for midlife men and the people who love them. It helps midlife men to rediscover themselves and to embrace the second half of life with positivity, enjoyment and purpose. So if you’re a midlife man with a creeping sense of unease and unhappiness that you can’t put your finger on, if you feel unappreciated and isolated, or if you’ve looked around at your life and thought “is this really it?”, then Middle Man is the show for you. Join me on a shared journey of self-discovery.

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Episodes (46)

November 26, 2025 46 mins

Why Do Men Hide Behind "I'm Fine"?

Have you ever uttered the words “I’m fine” in response to someone asking how you are? And more to the point, have you ever said those words when you know, deep down, that you’re pretty far from fine? Most men have, and do. This episode of Middle Man was recorded live for International Men’s Day, and […]
November 20, 2025 33 mins

Relapse

The last season of Middle Man finished with me saying the show would be back after the summer. But the summer came and went, and nothing. I’ve had messages asking when the podcast will be returning and enquiring after me, but nothing new has been published. Until now. So why the disappearing act? In today’s […]
July 30, 2025 47 mins

One Year On: What I’ve Learned About Midlife (and Myself)

In this special anniversary episode of Middle Man I sit down with my wife, Michelle, for a candid reflection on one year of exploring midlife as a man. I answer questions submitted by listeners that cover everything from what I’ve learned from doing the show and favourite guests and episodes to my own emotional health […]
July 23, 2025 48 mins

A Quarter of Men are 'Just Surviving' or Feeling Overwhelmed – Darren Lawrence on Men Needing Help

Many midlife men feel isolated or overwhelmed but remain silent, often unaware that help is available or assuming they just need to ‘get on with it’. As a direct result they grapple with a number of emotional, social and practical challenges, from dwindling friendships and financial strain to burnout, low self-esteem, and a loss of […]
July 16, 2025 44 mins

Midlife Stories: Making Space in Your Life For Yourself, with Paul Marsh

Whether it’s a failed relationship or a career that is no longer fulfilling, many midlife men find themselves trapped in a life that they can no longer tolerate. Regardless, they try and live a conventional life governed by traditional expectations and practical considerations; working unfulfilling jobs to support a family, suppressing creative ambitions, and slowly […]

About

From the outside my life looked wonderful. I had an amazing wife, three great kids, a beautiful house in the countryside and a successful consultancy business. But on the inside, I was deeply unhappy. I felt trapped by the very life that I had designed. I felt that I had no sense of purpose. And I’d lost all sense of who I was or what my place in the world was. But what I’ve discovered since is that it needn’t be this way. Middle Man is the show for midlife men and the people who love them. It helps midlife men to rediscover themselves and to embrace the second half of life with positivity, enjoyment and purpose. So if you’re a midlife man with a creeping sense of unease and unhappiness that you can’t put your finger on, if you feel unappreciated and isolated, or if you’ve looked around at your life and thought “is this really it?”, then Middle Man is the show for you. Join me on a shared journey of self-discovery.
  • Why Do Men Hide Behind "I'm Fine"?

    Have you ever uttered the words “I’m fine” in response to someone asking how you are? And more to the point, have you ever said those words when you know, deep down, that you’re pretty far from fine? Most men have, and do. This episode of Middle Man was recorded live for International Men’s Day, and […]

  • Relapse

    The last season of Middle Man finished with me saying the show would be back after the summer. But the summer came and went, and nothing. I’ve had messages asking when the podcast will be returning and enquiring after me, but nothing new has been published. Until now. So why the disappearing act? In today’s […]

  • One Year On: What I’ve Learned About Midlife (and Myself)

    In this special anniversary episode of Middle Man I sit down with my wife, Michelle, for a candid reflection on one year of exploring midlife as a man. I answer questions submitted by listeners that cover everything from what I’ve learned from doing the show and favourite guests and episodes to my own emotional health […]

  • A Quarter of Men are 'Just Surviving' or Feeling Overwhelmed – Darren Lawrence on Men Needing Help

    Many midlife men feel isolated or overwhelmed but remain silent, often unaware that help is available or assuming they just need to ‘get on with it’. As a direct result they grapple with a number of emotional, social and practical challenges, from dwindling friendships and financial strain to burnout, low self-esteem, and a loss of […]

  • Midlife Stories: Making Space in Your Life For Yourself, with Paul Marsh

    Whether it’s a failed relationship or a career that is no longer fulfilling, many midlife men find themselves trapped in a life that they can no longer tolerate. Regardless, they try and live a conventional life governed by traditional expectations and practical considerations; working unfulfilling jobs to support a family, suppressing creative ambitions, and slowly […]

  • Anxiety and Burnout are Very Commonly Linked with Neurodiversity – Dr Martin Brunet on Autism and ADHD

    There has been a huge rise in the number of autism and ADHD diagnoses over the last two decades. And while many midlife men have spent years being treated for anxiety or depression without ever understanding the root cause, there could be a link between their mental health struggles and undiagnosed neurodiversity. This week Paul […]

  • A Man’s Guide to Menopause, with Dr Naomi Potter

    Menopause exploded into the public consciousness a few years ago thanks largely to the book Menopausing by Davina McCall and Dr Naomi Potter. While a woman’s experience of menopause is deeply personal, it also touches the men around them – partners, colleagues, friends, and family. This week Paul is joined by co-author of Menopausing and […]

  • Midlife Stories: Self Harm as a Coping Mechanism, with David Salmon

    Coping mechanisms can take many forms for midlife men, from drinking a bit too much to isolating oneself to overworking to emotional eating. Self harm can be at the more extreme end of the scale, but it is not uncommon for a man experiencing burnout, anxiety or depression to use this as a way of […]

  • Divorce is The Second Most Traumatic Life Event – Sara Davison on Surviving Relationship Break Ups

    The divorce rate among men in their 40s is the highest of any age group, remaining stubbornly high at a time when the overall rate of divorce is falling. At a time when several other areas of life can be challenging, the failure of a marriage in midlife can have a devastating impact.  This week […]

  • Rebuilding Your Life When the Career Ladder Breaks, with Eleanor Twedell

    Losing your job in midlife can be take a significant emotional and psychological toll. From guilt, shame and loss of identity, redundancy is often accompanied by a messy and non-linear form of grief. Making space for that pain is a vital part of recovery, but once you have acknowledged that it is time to start […]

  • Midlife Stories: From Trapped to Transformed, with Guido Regazzoni

    Many people fall into careers that are not necessarily of their own design, only to wake up two decades later feeling unfulfilled, stressed and miserable. And yet a career change in midlife seems daunting and impractical, and surrounded by potential problems that can seem insurmountable. This week Paul talks to Guido Regazzoni who, after finding […]

  • Purpose Allows You to Thrive, Not Just Survive – David McNally on Meaning in Life

    The concept of purpose can be confusing and overplayed in some quarters, with much of the talk around this implying life missions that few can identify. But with questions like “is this it?” and “why am I here?” plaguing many midlife men, there can be little doubt that a sense of purpose is important if […]

  • My Testosterone Increased by 50% Just Through Lifestyle Factors – James Davis on Andropause

    Testosterone levels in men typically decrease by 1% to 2% annually from age 30, and in midlife can fall below optimum. In fact, the average 22 year old today has lower testosterone than the average 70 year old had just 50 years ago. In an estimated 40% of men, this can lead to symptoms including […]

  • Midlife Stories: My Father’s Death Changed Everything, with Ben Veal

    The gradual ageing and then passing away of our parents is inevitable during midlife. But navigating the grief and the emotional turmoil that comes with the death of our fathers is incredibly complex. It can be the catalyst for many profound male midlife experiences, including both reflection and transformation. This week’s show features a deeply […]

  • We Don’t Need More Mental Health Awareness; We Need More Action – Luke Ambler on Preventing Suicide

    It is often repeated that ‘men don’t talk’ and that, if they did, there would not be a mental health crisis among midlife men. Luke Ambler established ANDYSMANCLUB in 2016 following the tragic loss of his brother-in-law to suicide. Recognising the urgent need for safe spaces where men could open up without judgment, he started […]

  • Retirement is a Dangerous Illusion – Ken Valledy on Midlife Careers

    There’s very little more soul destroying for a midlife man than working in a job or a career for which he has lost his passion. And yet we tell ourselves the story that everyone has to do this, that it’s only for another 15 or 20 years, and that then we can retire and enjoy […]

  • Most Doctors Have Never Even Heard of Andropause! – Ross Tomkins on Low Testosterone

    The andropause, or the male menopause, is the decline in testosterone that occurs naturally in men from their mid 30s onwards. Unlike the female menopause, the hormonal changes we experience are slow and subtle. And unlike the menopause, andropause is not a widely recognised medical condition. But the impact of low testosterone can be significant […]

  • Midlife Stories: Reinventing Life, with Paul Flynn

    Life changes can come thick and fast during midlife. From changes to family set up, whether that be having children or marriage break ups or kids leaving home, to shifts in career, to changes in location and social dynamics, to parental illness and death, midlife can be a tumultuous time when it is easy to […]

  • Cold Water Immersion: Science v Sensation, with Dr Heather Massey

    Cold water immersion has gained a reputation over the last few years as a bit of a cure-all for both physical and mental wellbeing, whether that’s wild swimming or a plunge pool or cold showers. But what does the science actually say?  This week Paul talks to Dr Heather Massey, an environmental physiology researcher at […]

  • Therapy Should Not Be a Last Resort, with Bill Sullivan

    When it comes to therapy, men are reluctant to seek help. Most will only turn to psychotherapy when they hit crisis point, and even many of those who do seek out help will only do so because they’ve been given an ultimatum by their partner.  This week Paul talks to Bill Sullivan, a psychotherapist who […]

  • Loneliness is as Harmful as Smoking – David Robson on Social Connection

    Loneliness among midlife men is at epidemic levels. One in five men report having no close friends, and loneliness is reported to be as bad for you as smoking or drinking excessively. Some argue that it is more dangerous than cancer due to the sheer number of people it impacts and its mental and physical […]

  • We Are Catastrophising Sleep! – Stephanie Romiszewski on Sleep in Midlife

    Sleep is something that it’s incredibly important we pay close attention to for our physical health and mental wellbeing. Or so we are led to believe by the media. But acclaimed sleep physiologist Stephanie Romiszewski has a different take on this. She says that we have to stop worrying about sleep, as this is doing […]

  • Add 10 Years to Your Life Just by Changing Your Diet! – Dr Federica Amati on Midlife Nutrition

    There is an overwhelming amount of content out there about what we should eat and how we should eat it. A lot of it is confusing and contradictory, and most of us simply want down-to-earth, practical advice that we can use every day to help us live healthier and longer lives. Dr Federica Amati is […]

  • The Brutal Truth About Alcohol and Psychological Dependence with William Porter

    Many people have a complicated relationship with alcohol. They enjoy the perceived social benefits and the escapism it offers, but are also very aware that what they’re doing is little more than masking stress or anxiety. This week Paul talks to William Porter, author of the book Alcohol Explained, to explore the profound effects that […]

  • You Don't Need to Exercise for Hours to Make a Big Difference – Sally Gunnell on Midlife Wellbeing

    Wellbeing, both physical and mental, comes into sharp focus in midlife. We want to know more and we want do more. But the sheer volume and variety of advice out there can be overwhelming. Sally Gunnell, former Olympic gold medallist turned health and wellbeing advocate knows more than most about physical and mental fitness. And […]

  • Reflection, Rest and Rediscovery

    When Middle Man was conceived earlier this year it was with a hunch that if I felt the way I did in midlife, then other men must be feeling the same way. Little did I know that quite so many men were feeling quite so disconnected, frustrated and alone. This week’s episode provides some tips […]

  • Gender is Being Polarised and it's Dangerous! – Tom Stroud on Modern Masculinity

    Shifting dynamics around masculinity have meant that it has come under fire in recent years, largely due to the unrepresentative viewpoints of an extremely vocal minority of outspoken public figures. But there are also those out there seeking to redefine modern masculinity in positive terms and to help men to navigate life’s complexities with authenticity […]

  • Self-Leadership: The Critical Voice in Your Head is Not Your Enemy!

    Many men report feeling ‘stuck’ in midlife. Trapped in their lives, no matter how ‘successful’ they may be, with no idea how to change their circumstances and lead lives that are more rewarding and fulfilling. But by exploring emotions, behaviours and values with curiosity rather than judgement, things can change fast. This week Paul talks […]

  • The Impact of Shame in Midlife

    Shame is an incredibly powerful and complex emotion that is often overlooked in the therapeutic environment. But particularly during midlife, unresolved shame could be one of the biggest emotional instigators of what is referred to as the midlife crisis. This week Paul talks to Rob Etherson, co-creator of Shame Containment Theory, about the concept of […]

  • Midlife Stories: Overcoming Self Doubt with Simon Burgess

    Self doubt and lack of confidence plague many midlife men. It is among the most prevalent challenges men face as they transition into the second half of life, contributing to a sense of a lack of purpose, loneliness and poor mental wellbeing. This week Paul talks to Simon Burgess, the host of Life’s Second Act, […]

  • The Impact of Stress: How to Recognise, Manage and Prevent Burnout

    Long-term exposure to chronic stress can reduce life expectancy by anything from two to twenty years. It is estimated that one in nine UK adults feels stressed every single day, while three-quarters have felt overwhelmed or unable to cope at some point in the past year. This week Paul talks to stress expert Katie Maycock […]

  • The Midlife Disconnect: Why Do Men Wait So Long to Get Help?

    Many midlife men struggle with emotional pressures, feeling frustrated, lonely, stressed and lost. And they often feel unheard, reluctant or unable to speak up for fear of ridicule or rejection. But when it comes to self-help, there is a question that looms large: is there a lack of information for midlife men, or is it […]

  • How to Live a Soft Life

    A couple of years ago a trend called ‘the soft life’ started to emerge on the internet. But unlike most other internet trends, this one has particular relevance to midlife men, focusing as it does on emotional wellbeing and self-care. A strong advocate for the soft life is Dr Sarah Nicholls, an A&E doctor, burnout […]

  • Midlife Stories: Making Meaningful Connections with Adam Cranfield

    Adam Cranfield is typical of many midlife men in that he’s gone through most of the life events that society expects of a 48 year old man, such as marriage, children and jobs, but not without a growing sense of unease. Not least of this is the way that creating and maintaining meaningful connections has […]

  • Tackling Men's Mental Health

    Poor mental health among men is a common and complex issue. It has many causes and, arguably, a serious lack of positive practical action to solve. But things are starting to change, albeit slowly, and there are some calling for society to support men’s mental health more effectively. One such person is Katie Goodrum, founder […]

  • The Cost of People Pleasing

    Many midlife men have a problem with saying ‘yes’. In that they do it all the time out of habit, regardless of what’s best for them. They want to be seen as supportive in their professional or their family life and, though it comes from a good place, they end up overcommitting and never saying […]

  • The Role of Purpose in Wellbeing

    Lack of purpose is very often cited by men in midlife as a key driver of unhappiness and an area with which they really struggle. Many men’s sense of identity is often tied to their jobs or their family, and when these change or they lose the passion for their career or their relationships ends, […]

  • Midlife Stories: Surviving Bereavement by Suicide with Caroline Roodhouse

    In 2018 Caroline Roodhouse was bereaved by suicide. Over the past six years, she has struggled to come to terms with her husband Steve’s death and how it has affected her and her two young daughters. But she has also shown incredible strength. This week Caroline shares her personal journey of loss and healing. She […]

  • The Male Suicide Crisis

    One man dies by suicide every two hours in England and Wales, and the rate among men in their 40s and 50s is especially high. At a time when mens’ roles are changing so rapidly, cultural pressure for men to appear strong is unhelpful, and societal expectations of men, particularly stigma around vulnerability, prevent many […]

  • How to Change Career in Midlife

    Changing career in middle age is perceived by many to be incredibly challenging and even unwise. Societal expectations often shape our perceptions of success, leading some midlife men to feel trapped in careers they no longer enjoy. They become disengaged and unfulfilled, and unsure of how to make any sort of change. But it needn’t […]

  • Midlife Stories: Making A Career Pivot with Dirk Singer

    In one of the most striking midlife career pivots you’ll hear about, Dirk Singer went from a 20 year career owning and running PR and social media agencies to become an expert in sustainable aviation. This week Paul uncovers the whys and hows of Dirk’s story. They talk about how Dirk lost his passion for […]

  • The Importance of Self Care and Having Fun

    Midlife men often experience discontent and dissatisfaction, and it’s important to take action to redesign this phase of life to maximise the future. Prioritising self-care, trying new things, and aligning personal growth with fun and momentum is an important step in this process. This week Paul talks to midlife coach, author and podcaster Greg Scheinman […]

  • Embrace Life by Facing Your Mortality

    Some of the big challenges faced by midlife men are triggered by a creeping awareness of time passing and a desire to reclaim control over one’s life. Awareness of our own mortality, normally prompted by the death of a parent or another loved one, can be confusing and daunting, whether consciously or subconsciously. Self awareness […]

  • Trapped by the Life I Designed

    Many midlife men feel trapped by societal expectations and the lives they’ve designed for themselves, leading to dissatisfaction with life and a loss of identity. But it doesn’t need to be this way. This week Paul and his special guest, author and midlife coach Dan Stanley, discuss the challenges of midlife crises and share personal […]

  • A Crash Course on the Impact of Midlife on Men

    Midlife men face many challenges, not least of which are emotional struggles and the stigma associated with being middle aged. We frequently feel disconnected, frustrated and lonely due to societal pressures to suppress our emotions. This period, marked by low life satisfaction, peaks in our late 40s, when divorce rates and suicide rates are also […]

  • I Am the Middle Man

    I’m Paul Sutton, and in early 2024 I had what is commonly referred to as a ‘midlife crisis’. After a couple of years of experiencing a creeping sense of unease about my life, things came to a head when the resentment and frustration I’d been feeling started to boil over. I felt trapped by the […]

  • Cholesterol, SPF and fighting inflammation: Liz's 2025 highlights

    Liz reflects on the conversations that have stayed with her throughout 2025 – and shares her own thoughts on the topics that hit a nerve with listeners. She revisits why we’ve been getting SPF advice wrong, the nuanced truth about cholesterol that goes beyond ‘good’ and ‘bad’, and why your gums might be more important to […]

  • Ep 374: The Blood Work Every Woman Should Ask For In Perimenopause

    If you’ve been told your bloodwork is “normal” but you still feel exhausted, foggy, inflamed, anxious, or stuck in your weight… this episode will be a game changer. In Episode 374 of The Period Whisperer Podcast, we break down the exact blood chemistry markers women in perimenopause should request, why they matter, and what they […]

  • Thursday Thoughts – Enthusiasm

    On today’s Thursday Thoughts, Lucy and I are talking about one of my favourite topics…enthusiasm! Enthusiasm is one of the highest vibration emotions there is; and if we’re not feeling enthusiastic about anything in our life, that’s a sign that something needs to change. But just like joy and gratitude, enthusiasm is something that we […]

  • The Tamsen Show podcast image

    The Fasting Doctor: 5 Science-Backed Tools to Support Your Brain in Menopause

    Menopause doesn’t just change your body. It changes how you think, how you feel, and how you see yourself. For so many women, that shift shows up as brain fog, exhaustion, lost motivation, or a quiet fear that something is “wrong,” even when nothing is. In this episode, Tamsen is joined by Dr. Mindy Pelz, […]

  • Marlo Thomas Talks Hope, Healing, and St. Jude

    At this time of year, we could think of no better guest to join us than Marlo Thomas. Marlo is an actress, producer, author and perhaps, she is best know as the National Outreach Director for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Founded in 1962 by her Dad, Danny Thomas, St. Jude continues to be on […]

  • Aflevering 55 ~ Kerst zonder gezin: rouw, schuld en groei na de scheiding

    Kerst is het feest van samenzijn, zeggen we. Van warmte, gezelligheid en familie. Maar als je gezin ooit is uiteengevallen – door scheiding, sterfte, conflict of verbroken banden – wordt juist in deze dagen pijnlijk zichtbaar wat er níét meer is. In deze kerstaflevering praat Suzanne Rethans met Eva Tjooitink, eigenaar van Mindgrow Coaching & […]

  • Episode 197 – Reflections, Laughter & Gratitude: Our Christmas Eve Special

    This Christmas Eve, we’re doing something a little different. Instead of our usual expert interview, today I’m bringing you some of our Menopause and Cancer team — the powerhouses of women behind the clinic, workshops, research, retreats, fundraising, and support you receive throughout the year. It’s a warm, honest, hopeful conversation about what it really […]

  • Leaving Her Dream Job for Menopause Advocacy: Tamsen Fadal on HRT & Purpose After 50

    What happens when a news anchor loses her words on live television and discovers it’s not stress, but menopause? Emmy Award-winning journalist Tamsen Fadal joins Dr. Mary Claire Haver to share why she walked away from her dream job in pursuit of changing the conversation around women’s health, the powerful story behind her New York […]

  • Ep. 507: The Holiday Gift That Keeps on Giving – Faith, Joy, and the Strawberry

    I’m sharing my favorite Pema Chodron parable and the truth about why faith and worry are the same thing—but only one gets you what you want. Get the full show notes and information here: https://drdebbutler.com/507  

  • #151: Why do I Keep Doing this with Kati Morton

    Let’s talk about the patterns we know aren’t helping… but keep falling back into anyway. People-pleasing. Perfectionism. Overfunctioning. Ever wondered why you keep doing the things you don’t want to do? This week, I’m joined by the incredible Kati Morton — licensed therapist, bestselling author, and one of the very first mental health professionals to […]

  • Why I Don't Believe Losing Just 1 lb a Week Is The Best Approach For Women In Their 50s

    For years, women in their 50s have been told that losing one pound a week is the “smart” and “sustainable” way to lose weight. I believed that too until I started seeing what actually happens in real life. I explain why slow fat loss often kills momentum, how easy it is to unintentionally erase a […]

  • Ep 373: The HTMA Test Explained — The Mineral Blueprint Your Body Has Been Begging For In Perimenopause

    If you’ve been struggling with low energy, poor sleep, anxiety, brain fog, weight resistance, or feeling exhausted for no reason, this episode is about to blow your mind. In today’s episode of The Period Whisperer Podcast, we’re unpacking the HTMA Test (Hair Tissue Mineral Analysis) — one of the most underutilized but powerful tools for […]

  • Is it safe to stack supplements? – with Liz Earle

    Creatine, collagen, vitamins, greens powders and magnesium – can you really mix them all together, or are you doing more harm than good? Liz tackles your most pressing wellbeing concerns, from supplement stacking to winter SPF myths, essential midlife health scans and HPV.  In this episode: Can you mix supplements together? Red light therapy for […]

  • Take My Advice! Getting Through Christmas With Menopause

    Does Christmas feel overwhelming instead of joyful during menopause? In this festive solo episode, Dr Naomi Potter talks honestly about why Christmas can feel especially hard during perimenopause and menopause. We're breaking down how you can protect your energy, mood, and wellbeing during the most pressured time of year. From navigating family dynamics and emotional […]

  • Countdown of Karen's Top Ten Episodes of 2025

    Karen counts down her top 10 Itchy & Bitchy moments of 2025, from smarter New Year’s resolutions and promising UTI vaccines on the horizon to updated insights on HRT. Visit our website itchyandbitchy.com to read blog posts on the many topics we have covered on the show.

Middle Man

From the outside my life looked wonderful. I had an amazing wife, three great kids, a beautiful house in the countryside and a successful consultancy business. But on the inside, I was deeply unhappy. I felt trapped by the very life that I had designed. I felt that I had no sense of purpose. And […]

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