Mel Schilling author of The C* Word (Confidence)

The Merry Menopause Bookclub

April 12, 2023 37 mins

About

I am joined for this episode by the fabulous Mel Schilling. Human behaviour and performance specialist and Married at First Sight relationship expert Mel Schilling talks to me about her new book The C* Word.

Mel draws on her 20-year background in psychology, with this empowering and practical guide to making friends with our fear, tackling imposter syndrome and building the skills of confidence to enhance every aspect of our lives. 

Join us as we delve into:-

  • How can we rebuild our confidence in midlife. 
  • Brain fog and hot flushes - two of the biggest reasons that so many of us lose our confidence. Mel openly shares her experience of both of these whilst filming live TV. 
  • How humour can be a great asset in re-building confidence 
  • Mel opens up about her own journey with brain fog and her decision to start hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to manage it.
  • We discuss coaching techniques that can help overcome brain fog, anxiety, and hot flushes, particularly when dealing with presentations or public speaking.
  • We explore self-worth in midlife and the feeling of invisibility that many of us experience during this phase of life. 
  • Addressing negative self-talk and techniques to re-wire our brains and be kinder to ourselves. 
  • Mel reveals how our body has an identical response to "I am scared" to "I am excited" and how to recognise these feelings and make them work to our advantage. 
  • Midlife dating advice from the expert! Mel gives me her expert advice on navigating midlife dating - which apps to use, getting clear on dating goals, recognising 'red flags', and the difference between 'deal breakers' for a relationship vs personal preferences. 
  • Are you dating un-cooked men too?!
  • Mel shares her own experience of online dating, where she met her husband. 

Mel’s Book recommendation - Great Sex Starts at 50 by Tracey Cox. 

Follow Mel on Instagram


Support the show

Learn more about me and my work at www.themerrymenopause.com

Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIN

Join my private Facebook group

Information

Episode

38

Date

April 12, 2023

Length

37 mins
  • Kate Baily author of Love Your Sober Year

    For this episode I am joined by Kate Baily co-founder of the Love Sober platform and author of 'Love Your Sober Year.'  Kate coaches women to feel empowered by their choice to stop drinking alcohol, harnessing their decision to go sober and pivot from surviving to thriving in all areas of their lives using a […]

  • Mel Schilling author of The C* Word (Confidence)

    I am joined for this episode by the fabulous Mel Schilling. Human behaviour and performance specialist and Married at First Sight relationship expert Mel Schilling talks to me about her new book The C* Word. Mel draws on her 20-year background in psychology, with this empowering and practical guide to making friends with our fear, […]

  • Kim Vopni author of Your Pelvic Floor

    My guest for the final episode of S7 of the podcast is Kim Vopni aka @thevaginacoach. Kim is a speaker, women’s health educator, coach and Menopause support practitioner. She is also the author of the bestselling book Your Pelvic Floor which was The Merry Menopause Bookclub pick in February.  Menopause can bring several changes to […]

  • Matt and Sarah Davies authors of You, Me and the Space Between Us

    My guests for this episode are the authors of You Me and The Space Between Us, married couple Matt and Sarah Davies . Matt is a marriage counsellor and psychosexual and relationship therapist, and Sarah is a movement and somatic coach.   Combing both their areas of expertise, You, Me and The Space Between Us […]

  • Fran Littlewood author of Amazing Grace Adams

    My guest today is Fran Littlewood author of the best-selling novel Amazing Grace Adams. A story of the rollercoaster ride of Perimenopause which explores love, loss, motherhood, female rage, shame, self-blame, and the societal pressure of perfection. Join myself and Fran, a former Times Journalist and mother of three teenage daughters as we discuss:  The […]

  • Anya Bergman author of The Witches of Vardø

    To kick off the NEW season of The Merry Menopause Bookclub Podcast, I am delighted to have as my guest Anya Bergman author of best selling novel The Witches of Vardø.  In this episode, Anya shares her fascination with the real-life story of three women – Ana, Ingeborg, and Maren – who fought for survival […]

  • Bonnie Garmus author of Lessons In Chemistry

    What better way to finish off season six of The Merry Menopause Bookclub Podcast than with Bonnie Garmus author of The Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller “Lessons in Chemistry” Bonnie and I connected on Instagram where I was raving about Lessons in Chemistry, It is one of my favourite  reads this year so far and […]

  • Anniki Sommerville author The Big Quit

    Anniki Sommerville’s specialist subjects include Perimenopause, parenting and work/life juggling. She has written for The Telegraph, The Guardian and Grazia and is the author of 5 books.  In this episode, we talk about her latest book – The Big Quit  which is all about how to navigate work and find the right balance for you.  […]

  • Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo-Wurtlizer of Red School authors of Wise Power

    Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer are the co-founders of Red School. Together they have spent over 10,000 hours researching and refining their radical new approach to health, creativity, leadership and spiritual life. And the best bit? It's rooted in the bloody, wild, radical power of the menstrual cycle and Menopause. They are the authors […]

  • Sharon Blackie author of Hagitude

    My guest for this episode is Dr Sharon Blackie award-winning writer, Psychologist and Mythologist. Her highly acclaimed books, courses, lectures and workshops are focused on the development of the mythic imagination, and on the relevance of myth, fairy tales and folk traditions to the personal, cultural and environmental problems we face today. She joins me […]

  • Kirsten Miller author of The Change

    My guest for this episode to discuss her first adult book The Change is  feminist author in the Young Adult and children’s space, Kirsten Miller. The Change is the story of three women in their Perimenopause who discover that the changes of reaching this age are also their Superpowers. Life has become so quiet for […]

  • Lara Briden author of Hormone Repair Manual

    To kick off Season 6 of The Merry Menopause Bookclub Podcast my wonderful  guest today is Naturopathic Doctor Lara Briden.  A graduate of the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine, Lara practices in  Christchurch, New Zealand, treating women with symptoms of PCOS, PMS, endometriosis, Perimenopause, and many other hormone- and period-related health problems. Lara joins me […]

  • Christie Watson author Quilt on Fire

    Christie Watson's first novel, Tiny Sunbirds Far Away, won the Costa First Novel Award; her second, Where Women Are Kings, achieved international critical acclaim; and her nursing memoir, The Language of Kindness, was a number one bestseller.  In 2020, during the first peak of the pandemic, she published The Courage to Care and briefly returned […]

  • Kate Codrington author of Second Spring

    I knew that Kate Codrington and I were destined to meet. Her name has been mentioned many times by past guests of the podcast so I was delighted when our friends at Harper Collins sent me a copy of her book Second Spring and Kate agreed to be my guest. Kate is a mentor, speaker, […]

  • Julie Walker author Bonny and Read

    For the first time on The Merry Menopause Bookclub podcast, I’ve chosen a fiction book, Bonny and Read is the historical reimagining of two female pirates Anne Bonny and Mary Read.  Author Julie Walker first came across this swashbuckling duo as a teenager when she was listening to the Adam Ant song Five Guns West.  […]

  • Dr Jenna Macciochi author of Your Blueprint for Strong Immunity

    My guest for this episode is Dr Jenna Macciochi an expert immunologist who has spent over 20 years as a scientist researching the impact that lifestyle has on the immune system in health and disease.  Her latest book “Your Blueprint for Strong Immunity”, is a guide to cultivating strong immune health from a voice of […]

  • Awen Clement author of Moon Wise

    Since she was little, Awen Clement has been fascinated by the magic of the moon and this led her to write and publish her book, Moon Wise. Awen is a healer and intuitive who works deeply with the land, the moon and the elements. She teaches on spiritual connection, healing and sacred leadership, and is the […]

  • Kate Muir author of Everything You Need to Know About The Menopause (but were too afraid to ask)

    My guest for this episode is Kate Muir, author of “Everything You Need to Know About the Menopause (but were too afraid to ask)” Kate is a writer, campaigner and documentary maker. She is the co-creator and producer of the revolutionary channel 4 documentary Sex, Myths and the Menopause and an activist for The Menopause […]

  • Petra Coveney author of Menopause Yoga

    My guest today is Petra Coveney founder and creator of Menopause Yoga, the world’s first Menopause specific yoga practice and fully accredited teacher training course. Petra is a member of the British Menopause Society and a senior teacher and trainer for the British Wheel of Yoga and Yoga Alliance Professionals.  Petra joins me to talk […]

  • Lucy Peach author My Greatest Period Ever

    In this episode, I am joined by Period preacher and author of “My Greatest Period Ever” Lucy Peach. Lucy has performed at TEDX and toured around the globe with multiple sell-out seasons of her hilarious and heartfelt show ‘My Greatest Period Ever.’ In her own words, Lucy is changing the world “One Period at a […]

  • Cara Wheatley_McGrain author Calm Your Gut

    My guest for this episode is Cara Wheatley-McGrain Hay House author, Mindset coach, and Educational Consultant.  Cara founded The Mindful Gut project on a mission to inspire 1 million people to become the custodians of their gut microbiome and she joins me to talk about her book “Calm your gut, a mindful and compassionate guide […]

  • Lorraine Candy author "Mum What's Wrong With You?"

    I kick off Season 4 with journalist, editor, co-host of "Postcards from Midlife" podcast and mum of four Lorraine Candy. Formerly the editor in chief of the Sunday Times Style magazine, Elle and Cosmopolitan, Lorraine has been writing about parenting in national newspapers and magazines for more than a decade.  In this episode, we talk […]

  • Dr Ginni Mansberg author The M Word

    For the final episode of Season 4, I am joined by Dr Ginni Mansberg, a sought-after speaker and regular host and medical expert on Australian TV. A forerunner of the Menopause conversation in Australia, she is the author of today’s book choice, The M Word: How to Thrive in the Menopause which offers sound advice for […]

  • Josie Lloyd author The Cancer Ladies Running Club

    In the penultimate episode of Series 3 I am joined by Josie Lloyd author of 15 bestselling novels (as both Josie Lloyd and Joanna Rees), including the number one hit Come Together, which she co-authored with her husband Emlyn Rees, and the bestselling parody We're Going On A Bar Hunt.  But this episode is dedicated […]

  • Susan Saunders author The Age Well Plan

    My guest from S2 Jackie Lynch author of The Happy Menopause  chose The Age Well Plan as her book choice, and so we have her to thank for this episode where I meet and talk to Susan Saunders Health Coach, Writer, TV producer and author and author of, The Age Well Plan.  Susan has spent […]

  • Dr Sara Gottfried author Women, Food and Hormones

    For this episode, I am joined by Dr Sara Gottfried Harvard-educated Physician-Scientist and New York Times bestselling author. In Her latest book Women, Food and Hormones, Dr Sara explains the science behind the relationship between weight loss and hormones and in doing so provides a revolutionary new plan that helps women balance their hormones so they […]

  • Charlotte Bauer author How to Get Over Being Young

    I think it is so important that those of us going through Perimenopause draw on the insights and experiences of women Post Menopause.  Hence, I was delighted to have as my guest Charlotte Bauer Journalist and Author of the funny and thought-provoking "How to Get Over Being Young." In this insightful and deeply personal episode, […]

  • Kimberley Wilson author How to Build a Healthy Brain

    To kick off season three of The Merry Menopause Bookclub podcast I am delighted to be joined by Kimberley Wilson Chartered Psychologist and author of How to Build a Healthy Brain.   Kimberley believes the way we think about mental health – as separate from physical health – is flawed. Her philosophy of Whole Body Mental Health […]

  • Sarah Chadwick author The Sweetness of Venus – A History of The Clitoris

    My last guest of Season 2 is the wonderful Sarah Chadwick author of The Sweetness of Venus –  A History of the Clitoris. Challenging today’s definition of female sexuality, The Sweetness of Venus is a provocative, straight-talking and rigorously researched history exposing the denial, misunderstanding and brutality endured by this taboo body part. Sarah has […]

  • Emma Bardwell author The Perimenopause Solution

    My guest on the penultimate episode of S2 is Emma Bardwell registered nutritionist and member of the British Menopause Society. Her evidence-based approach, coupled with an ongoing interest in Perimenopause and Menopause has made her one of the go-to names in women’s health.  Emma is deeply anti-fad and doesn’t care for restriction, believing in positive […]

  • Sophie Fletcher author Mindful Menopause

    In this episode, I am joined by Sophie Fletcher clinical hypnotherapist and author of Mindful Menopause. Sophie specialises in women’s wellbeing at transitional stages of their lives and her focus is the body and mind connection, exploring thoughts and feelings that may arise at times of vulnerability giving practical, everyday tools that make a difference. […]

  • Kim McCabe author of From Daughter to Woman

    In this episode, I have the pleasure of talking to Kim McCabe, author of ‘From Daughter to Woman’ a guide to parenting girls safely through their teens. Kim is a child development expert and founder-director of the non-profit organisation Rites for Girls. She studied psychology at Cambridge University, before training as a counsellor for distressed […]

  • Jackie Lynch author of The Happy Menopause

    In this episode, I am joined by Jackie Lynch author of "The Happy Menopause" and host of The Happy Menopause Podcast.  Jackie discovered the power of nutrition 15 years ago when she followed personalised nutritional advice and experienced first-hand the dramatic changes in her energy well being and performance. This led her to give up […]

  • Dr Philippa Kaye author or "The M Word"

    In this episode,  I am in conversation with Dr Philippa Kaye, GP and author.  Philippa has a weekly column in Woman magazine and you may recognise her from her regular appearances on ITV’s, This Morning.  The M Word is a complete one-stop guide to the Perimenopause and Menopause, covering everything from understanding symptoms and managing […]

  • Ruth Devlin – Men… Let's Talk Menopause

    In this episode, I talk to Ruth Devlin, Registered Nurse and founder of Let’s Talk Menopause, which she set up in response to the conflicting advice she received during her Perimenopause.  Ruth has gone on to raise awareness and provide accurate and helpful information on Menopause, through her courses, guest speaking at events and appearances […]

  • Maryon Stewart – Manage Your Menopause Naturally

    In this episode I talk to one of the pioneers of natural menopause management Maryon Stewart. A font of knowledge and true expert in the field of hormones, PMS and Menopause. Her latest book is six week self coaching programming and I guarantee you after listening to this episode you will be informed, inspired and […]

  • Dr Annice Mukherjee – The Complete Guide to the Menopause

    In this episode I chat with Dr Annice Mukherjee top hormone consultant with over 30 years of experience helping women achieve hormone balance and renewed vitality before, during and after the menopause.  Join as we discuss  Dr Annices own personal journey following her breast cancer diagnosis at 41 and an induced chemical menopause. Why menopause […]

  • Tracey Cox – Great Sex Starts at 50

    In this episode, I chat to Tracey Cox, author, psychologist and TV personality about sex and how to adapt to the changes as we age. Fifty-plus looks nothing like it used to. Many of us I hit half a century with little sign of slowing down, but like it or not, something happens to us […]

  • Annie Auerbach author of Flex

    In this episode, I meet Annie Auerbach for the second time since the first publication of Flex in 2019.  To mark this year's publication of Flex in paperback Annie has added an extra chapter, Flex in Flux to deal with the assumption that working from home during a pandemic is Flex. It is not. Flex […]

  • Cooked weight vs raw weight: How I log my protein

    If you’re tracking your food but unsure whether to log your protein cooked or raw, this episode is for you. This is a quick, practical breakdown of how I log protein and why it matters, especially if you’re working toward fat loss in menopause. When protein cooks, it loses water and typically shrinks by about […]

  • Is alcohol doing more damage in midlife than you realise? – with Prof David Nutt

    Most of us know alcohol isn’t ideal for our health. But the specific ways it affects the brain, gut, hormones and our sleep, and why those effects become more pronounced as we age, are less well understood. Leading psychiatrist and neuropsychopharmacologist Prof David Nutt joins Liz to explain exactly what happens in the body from the […]

  • The Tamsen Show podcast image

    How to Find the Meaning of Your Life (From Harvard's #1 Happiness Expert)

    Arthur C. Brooks is a happiness expert, Harvard University professor, and best-selling author. You live a good life, but you still feel unhappy. You put yourself out there, but every relationship seems to fail. You have your dream job, but something feels off. What is going on? In today’s episode of The Tamsen Show, Arthur […]

  • Eps 400: Why Your Midlife Symptoms Aren’t Just Hormones with Crystal Andrus Morisette

    No one tells you that the real shift in midlife isn’t just physical… It’s personal. In this conversation, we’re unpacking something that doesn’t get talked about enough,  how so many of us have been taught to override our needs, push through, and take care of everyone else… until our body finally says “I can’t keep […]

  • Bonus: When hormones are missed in mental health

    In this episode, Dr Louise Newson is joined by mental health nurses Jayne and Diane to discuss the often overlooked role of hormones in women’s mental health. Drawing on their experience working in mental health services, they share how hormonal changes are rarely considered when women present with symptoms such as anxiety, depression or mood […]

  • This Simple Mindset Shift Will Change the Way You See Your Life

    Life doesn’t always go according to plan.  And even the changes you choose can bring uncertainty, questions, and moments where you wonder what’s next.  Today’s episode will show you how to move forward and find something better on the other side.  In it, Mel sits down with Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist, expert on […]

  • If Nothing Seems to Be Going Your Way, Listen to This

    Life doesn’t always go according to plan.  And even the changes you choose can bring uncertainty, questions, and moments where you wonder what’s next.  Today’s episode will show you how to move forward and find something better on the other side.  In it, Mel sits down with Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist, expert on […]

  • “I wish I was chic-er!” Fearne on personal style and learning new skills

    What’s been going on for you this week? What are you happy about, and what’s making you not so happy? Fearne’s here with more chat about what’s putting her and the Happy Place team in a good mood, and what’s feeling a bit rubbish …and Fearne has really really been feeling rubbish this week… This […]

  • S4 Ep198: Preventing Dementia: Estrogen? Testosterone? Prevogen?

    Preventing Dementia: Estrogen? Testosterone? Prevogen™?On November 10, 2025, the Secretary of Health and Human Services, Dr. Marty Markary, along with the head of the FDA, RFK Jr, announced that hormone therapy would “reduce Alzheimer’s by 35%.” Where does that statistic come from? And should all women take hormone therapy to stave off dementia later in life? In […]

  • JoBeth Williams Returns to Talk Hollywood and Becoming a Grandmother

    JoBeth Williams returns to HFCT! We are thrilled to continue our conversation with actress and producer JoBeth Williams.  JoBeth is busier than ever with the movie, Not Without Hope, and producing the recent Actor Awards.  She also shares more great stories from her past movies including Kramer vs. Kramer. Her most exciting new position is […]

  • image of woman with dark hair named Mary Claire Haver

    Brain Fog, Memory Loss, and Alzheimer’s Risk During Menopause with Dr. Lisa Mosconi

    In this episode of unPAUSED, Dr. Mary Claire Haver continues her conversation with Dr. Lisa Mosconi, neuroscientist and associate professor of neuroscience in neurology and radiology at Weill Cornell Medicine, New York Presbyterian Hospital. Dr. Mosconi directs the Alzheimer’s Prevention Program, including the NIH-funded Women’s Brain Initiative and the Alzheimer’s Prevention Clinic, and was recently […]

  • EP. 211 – Menopausal Skin Concerns and Rescue with Debbi Barber

    In this eagerly anticipated return to the podcast, Dr. Fiona Lovely welcomes back skincare innovator, Debbi Barber, to share her experience treating our menopausal skin and give us her best tips to looking great, no matter your age. Their last conversation became one of the top three most downloaded episodes of last year, and this […]

  • Step Three to a Regulated Nervous System: Building your Capacity

    In this episode, I’m taking you into the third step of regulating your nervous system — and this is where things really begin to shift. We’ve already explored awareness and regulation, but if you’ve ever felt like you’re still getting pulled into stress again and again… this is the missing piece. Today, I’m talking about […]

  • Step Three to a Regulated Nervious System: Building your Capacity

    In this episode, I’m taking you into the third step of regulating your nervous system — and this is where things really begin to shift. We’ve already explored awareness and regulation, but if you’ve ever felt like you’re still getting pulled into stress again and again… this is the missing piece. Today, I’m talking about […]

  • 52 – Why psychiatrists must start thinking about hormones

    In this episode, Dr Louise Newson is joined by consultant psychiatrist Dr Gareth Jarvis to explore the important, and often overlooked, connection between hormones and mental health.   Louise and Gareth discuss how hormonal changes can often contribute to depression, anxiety, sleep disturbance and severe mental illnesses. They also explore why psychiatrists are rarely trained to consider hormones […]

  • The Tamsen Show podcast image

    If You’re Going Through a Friendship Breakup You Need To Hear This

    If you have ever lost a friend and felt like you weren’t allowed to grieve it, this episode is for you. In this deeply personal solo episode, Tamsen opens up about one of the most painful experiences women carry quietly: the friendship breakup. Whether it ended with a blowup, a slow fade, or a silence […]

  • Eps 399: You’re Doing All the Sleep Tips — So Why Are You Still Awake?

    If sleep hygiene and all the “sleep tips” aren’t working for you… this is why. This is the final episode in our sleep miniseries, and I really wanted to bring everything together in a way that actually makes sense for your body. Because so many women are stuck thinking they just need more discipline, a […]

  • The Ultimate Guide to Women’s Sexual Health, Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) & Menopause

    This episode is a MUST listen. Mel calls it one of the most important conversations she has ever had on The Mel Robbins Podcast.  Most women don’t know this, and this information could save the life of a woman you love.  If you are thinking you’re “fine,” while quietly suffering through symptoms that are treatable, […]

  • Ruth Langsford: “We all go through sh*t!” My life with divorce and dementia

    How do you cope when you’re going through a really rough time? Broadcaster Ruth Langsford has needed a balance of big cries, therapy, and just choosing to dust herself off and get to work. In this chat with Fearne, Ruth talks through the ways counselling and female friendships are moving her through the grief of […]

  • The beauty advice I got completely wrong

    After nearly 40 years researching health, beauty and wellness, Liz has learned that looking well and looking young are two very different things – and that the most powerful beauty advice she ever received had nothing to do with what you put on your skin.   Plus: why period pains can get worse in midlife, […]

  • The Truth About Weight Loss Injections In Menopause (GLP-1)

    Can weight loss injections help with menopause weight gain?In this week’s episode, Dr Naomi Potter is joined by menopause specialist Dr Kari Nightingale to unpack one of the biggest topics in women’s health right now: GLP-1 weight loss medications. They discuss why weight can become so much harder to manage in perimenopause and menopause, how […]

The Merry Menopause Bookclub

Welcome to The Merry Menopause Bookclub podcast, I’m your host, Jo Fuller ACTP Accredited Coach specialising in Menopause. I created this podcast to explore the many facets of Menopause through literature and conversation.Each episode, I’ll be discussing a book that resonates with our midlife experience, delving into the physical, emotional and social aspects of this […]

00:00
/
00:00